Pssst…Can you keep a secret?

We all have secrets. We’ve kept them. We’ve shared them. We’ve blushed when revealed. We’ve cried in discovering a secret about ourselves.

Some secrets should be just that, a secret. Secret is defined as something that is kept or meant to be kept unknown or unseen by others. There are many instances when secrets should be kept. Businesses keep proprietary information secret to keep competitors from stealing their ideas or products. Countries keep secrets for reasons of national security. But is there ever a reason to keep a secret within the confines of a family? Is there ever a reason that others share a secret about an individual that is unknown to that person? Those types of secrets can be a ticking time bomb, can feel like the sword of Damocles, can be the snake that bites you, can shatter a family completely.

Why do we keep secrets? Sometimes it’s to protect a reputation. Sometimes it’s to protect someone’s feelings. Sometimes it’s meant to keep a family united in a common belief.

There are many issues that can surface from keeping secrets. The more people that know the secret the more chances of the secret being exposed. It can be compared to the criminal who thinks he has gotten away with murder 30 plus years after the fact only to find the police knocking on his door as an aged senior citizen.

Secrets are never kept. Think about that. Then think of any secret you may have been told over the years. Is there honestly a single secret you have ever kept? People tell secrets for many reasons. Some tell them in order to share the burden they have carried by keeping the secret. Some tell secrets out of spite. Some tell secrets thinking that the secret must be revealed.

So, what is the harm in keeping a secret? It’s a lack of honesty. It’s hiding behind a lie to save face. It’s denying someone information that can have a huge impact on their life. One secret can result in irreparable harm if discovered. One secret can destroy trust. One secret can destroy a family.

Hiding behind a secret in order to maintain your reputation is reprehensible especially if that secret involves an innocent person. Sharing the secret with others and expecting them to keep that secret is selfish. “Research has linked secrecy to increased anxiety, depression, symptoms of poor health, and even the more rapid progression of disease” (Scientific America, Why the Secrets You are Keeping are Hurting You by Michael Slepian. Published February 5, 2019). That is a huge sacrifice and burden placed on others.

Are you keeping a secret?